I remember when I first got Big Joe how, I was visiting some friends and brought him along. He loves playing catch and would pretty much do it at any given moment. He lets me know when he wanted to play, when he needs to go out, when he’s hungry, you name it, I can pretty much tell.
The same thing can be said about human relationships. I think too much has been said about successful negotiating skills being about subterfuge and sneaky. That’s not how good, healthy relationships are formed. Books have been written about “How To Get What You Really Want And Be Happy”.
There is no secret to getting that: ask for it. All those books pretty much say the same thing: know what you want and ask for it it.
I’m not saying you get everything you ask for just because you ask, but your chances improve when you do.
My biggest day-to-day fear is fear of not getting what I want or losing something I already have. Asking for something I want makes me vulnerable. Especially when it’s important. There is safety in being vague. In this world of fancied self-sufficiency, the idea of needing other people to get along is frowned upon, unless I have the upper hand in the relationship.
Imagine how much work could get done if I stopped jockeying for the upper hand before asking for things I want. Sometimes, I ask for things I don’t want or need because that’s less frightening than the truth. It’s also less satisfying and fulfilling. I’m glad Big Joe is around to remind me of the folly of that thinking.